Can’t Cope Anymore

More and more I am hearing statements like this and I’m not talking about general comments, I mean I’m losing my mind, I can’t cope anymore statements.

There are believers out there who say we need to feel secure in somethings but not secure in others so we keep learning and moving forward. While there are merits for this it’s hard to say how much you need of each as we perceive the same events differently.

For the next few minutes try to detach your emotions and think on this. What exactly can you not cope with? If it’s more than one thing make a list, using facts not emotions. It sounds easy, well then do it. Your losing control but making a list is not worth trying?

Ok, statistically I could tell you what percentage has made a list but it wouldn’t help. When you have made your list using facts not emotion you may be surprised on at least some of them. Humans have a habit of looking at the worst possible outcome then just for the hell of it we add our problems together and make new horrible images in our minds and we say this is my life.

Unfortunately this can lead into other problems or trigger them, like panic attack, depression and anxiety. Our brains can’t distinguish between a vivid fantasy and reality. So male or female, if you work yourself into a state and see and feel this hell scenario your mind can believe that it’s true.

See all or nothing thinking.

Think back over the years of the horrors we thought were coming and for the fast majority of us they didn’t come to pass. For some we have lost children, been given terminal diagnosis so we know how bad it can get.

For most of us we can see what we fantasised about didn’t come true. Now imagine an individual, male or female, always smiling, knowing the world will provide. They see a great future, great job, great relationship and a great life full of adventure and fun. What name would you call them in your own head?

Most of what they dream about probably won’t come true but there happy. Most of what the negative thinker thinks about probably won’t come true and there out of control and miserable.

Both are unrealistic views of life but with different side effects. Look at your list and take each point separately and see can you do something to improve it. Move to make the change and keep notes of it. This helps when you have bad days. Next make a list of things in your life you do control and then things that put a smile on your face.

When you start taking action on some items you will find they move to the other list. You may not like them but you do control them.

Take small steps, one item at a time and you will see what a few weeks can do to changing your life. Have a look at the other posts on this website and if you have a question feel free to ask.

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