Can’t Cope Anymore

More and more I am hearing statements like this and I’m not talking about general comments, I mean I’m losing my mind, I can’t cope anymore statements.

There are believers out there who say we need to feel secure in somethings but not secure in others so we keep learning and moving forward. While there are merits for this it’s hard to say how much you need of each as we perceive the same events differently.

For the next few minutes try to detach your emotions and think on this. What exactly can you not cope with? If it’s more than one thing make a list, using facts not emotions. It sounds easy, well then do it. Your losing control but making a list is not worth trying?

Ok, statistically I could tell you what percentage has made a list but it wouldn’t help. When you have made your list using facts not emotion you may be surprised on at least some of them. Humans have a habit of looking at the worst possible outcome then just for the hell of it we add our problems together and make new horrible images in our minds and we say this is my life.

Unfortunately this can lead into other problems or trigger them, like panic attack, depression and anxiety. Our brains can’t distinguish between a vivid fantasy and reality. So male or female, if you work yourself into a state and see and feel this hell scenario your mind can believe that it’s true.

See all or nothing thinking.

Think back over the years of the horrors we thought were coming and for the fast majority of us they didn’t come to pass. For some we have lost children, been given terminal diagnosis so we know how bad it can get.

For most of us we can see what we fantasised about didn’t come true. Now imagine an individual, male or female, always smiling, knowing the world will provide. They see a great future, great job, great relationship and a great life full of adventure and fun. What name would you call them in your own head?

Most of what they dream about probably won’t come true but there happy. Most of what the negative thinker thinks about probably won’t come true and there out of control and miserable.

Both are unrealistic views of life but with different side effects. Look at your list and take each point separately and see can you do something to improve it. Move to make the change and keep notes of it. This helps when you have bad days. Next make a list of things in your life you do control and then things that put a smile on your face.

When you start taking action on some items you will find they move to the other list. You may not like them but you do control them.

Take small steps, one item at a time and you will see what a few weeks can do to changing your life. Have a look at the other posts on this website and if you have a question feel free to ask.

Feeling Down all the Time

As humans we have emotions and if we look at periods of our lives we can see we have good and bad patches. Now if you examine any patch good or bad and to use the expression “put it under a microscope” you will find you had good and bad things happen to you.

In other words our emotions are going to rise and fall and sometimes it’s like a rollercoaster, climbing – climbing – climbing to be followed by a white knuckle plummet and this is normal. If we are wise we learn from our mistakes and bad luck as well as from our successes and good luck.

Unfortunately we can get stuck in a pattern where we perceive that it’s all negative or bad. This can just be a negative pattern of thinking, not only is my glass half empty but it also has a crack.

Just for a moment think back to your childhood, was one or both of your parents or guardians a negative thinker? Did they put you down “for your on good” to motivate you? Maybe, maybe not!

Did you have or still have an over powering friend or relationship? For more see, Can’t let go of a relationship. You get the idea of where to look in your past or maybe did you do something you’re not proud off? You would be amazed how many people’s lives can be affected and destroyed over some of these things.

In hypnotherapy we help people forgive themselves all the time and this just unloads so much pressure and weight from their shoulders. We also help people change by desensitising past events and help you change the meaning of them which changes the emotion which comes from the memory.

You have the right to be happy and have a great live, yes there will be falls and knocks but that’s life. I’m going to quote a film, Batman begins – Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up!

I love that way of thinking and I think a great lesson for children.

Look around at children, they fall and get back up. They might cry and act as if there dying and then they are of running again. So maybe it’s time to follow suit, leave the past where it is, if you need help then we can help you. Call to book an appointment!

If you could start afresh tomorrow morning and just see the world differently, what would it be like? Feeling good inside, looking forward to something. If you felt that way would your future look brighter, of course it would. So you need to figure out how to get from where you are to where you want to be.

If you think my life is bad but if I try to change it might get worse, flip it around and think if I don’t change what it will cost me. Think about prolonged unhappiness, worry, feeling down, could this lead to anxiety and depression. You are too special too important for that type of life. There is only one of you among billions, that’s unique! There are ways to change, find one that works for you and live the life you want.

Can’t let go of a relationship

This is quite a common problem with people and it affects us differently. This depends of how the relationship ended but also on what type of personality you have.  This has such a wide spectrum from feeling sad to murder in the extreme cases.

So what is it for you? Do you feel hard done by, after all that work you put into it and now he or she has ended it? You have wasted so many years and if they think they can just walk away without any consequences then they have another thing coming. They are just confused because we are soul mates and they just need to be reminded of that. Feeling angry all the time, If I can’t have them then nobody will.

Obviously that’s just a few but it covers the spectrum. Before we look at that in more detail lets imagine a scenario where the relationship was ended by the other party. There was no cheating with a third party they just didn’t see a future in it but you did.

How would this make you feel? Depending on where you appear on that spectrum it will range from hurt, let down, rejected and angry. I’m not asking you to excuse any behaviour but just think about how they react to things. Have you ever had one of those moments where you said to yourself oh now I know why he reacts like that? Maybe after seeing their parents do something or a story from their childhood.

They are who they are based on their programme and that programme will run from their birth to the day they die. Depending on the information we accept or reject the new information and the programme changes or stays the same. The difficulty of accepting new information will be a different post.

Now you may be able to see your ex a little differently but the main point of this is the reverse is also true! What is in your programme that would make you feel as if you can’t live without them? For most of us we go and get drunk with our friends or pig out.

For others it’s like a never ending cycle of question’s which you can’t answer with any certainty. In hypnosis we can help you to see it differently and to show you how to dump/let go and give all the negative stuff back. This is done in your mind so you can really let go in a safe environment. This is fantastic and I would recommend everyone should get this done for different issues.

If you are feeling rejected and it starts to affect you badly like depression we may need to go back further and see if you have had other experiences of it, possibly you may have felt or perceived you were rejected a parent or loved one. In a case like this we may use regression to desensitise past events and then use anger release and forgiveness.

If you feel as if you can’t go on or if violence is on your mind you need to see someone before it gets out of hand. The same applies to you, why do I feel this way? The answer is probably a lot deeper and at a much younger age than you imagine. For more information see our home page, Dun Laoghaire Hypnosis.